


Chessboard

by theres_no_utopia



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Anger, Guilt, M/M, Mental Instability, POV Second Person, Spoilers, not fully edited, this is my attempt at writing in second person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 13:13:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6856090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theres_no_utopia/pseuds/theres_no_utopia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His rage had caused his downfall, while desire had made you partake in a dangerous game. A game you lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chessboard

It had begun as a desire.

A desire to protect him, the one who meant the most to you. 

The one you couldn’t bear to lose.

You had drowned in the desire, consumed by a primitive need that intertwined in the deepest corners of your mind and enslaved your fragile mentality. 

You knew he was reckless. You had become accustomed to this, accustomed to his carelessness. His self-destructive way of rushing into situations without considering the consequences had been a harsh contrast to your calculated planning, but you had quickly adapted to the young male’s non-existent strategy. This often left you to pick up the broken fragments on the chess board of the game you found yourself playing.

You were supposedly meant to be an intellect. You knew what he was capable of, and more importantly, what he was willing to do for the game to go in his favour. You knew all this but let yourself remain chained to him, chained to the emotions that clouded your judgement. 

You wanted to help him.

He was blinded by rage. He was a raging fire, fuelled by feelings of anger and guilt that could not be tamed. You had found yourself watching as it had consumed him and choked as you found yourself smothered in his despair. Tears had poured like rain down your pale cheeks, wailing as everything you had fought to protect in the boy burned away. 

Everything you loved in him.

He pushed you away regardless. You were too weak to save him, too cowardly to do anything but break down. The dam within you had eventually collapsed, exposing the vulnerable child hidden beneath layers of composure. You cried and screamed until your voice was raspy and your throat was raw, but no matter how much you called out to him, he continued to crawl under a thick blanket of rage.

You were helpless.

You had attempted to trick your mind and surround yourself in a delusion. You knew the boy had crept too far over the edge to be saved, but yet you continued to remain ignorant. Deep down however, you knew he was gone.

You knew all this but still found your eyes widening in shock as you witnessed the release of the young male’s anger. The corpse in front of him had been rendered to something unrecognisable. 

Your eyes had watched in horror as the creature below him moved to attack. You had felt yourself spring towards him in terror, anxiety had swarmed your thoughts and threatened to drown you in fear. Your instincts itched to run but the desire and need to save him kept on pulling you forward.   
You had jumped towards him, wanting to shield him from harm’s way. Your efforts had been in vain.

He had turned towards you in those last moments, uttering those few words that you found forever replaying cyclically in your mind.   
_“It’s okay.”_

Your voice had echoed through the forest, screaming his name. You couldn’t do anything to stop him from destructing. You weren’t strong enough to do save him.

Afterwards, you had remained silent as you carried the boy’s battered body on your back. He skin had felt lifeless and cold against your own. Blood trickled from the corners of your lips as your lungs screamed to release the distraught cry you had been fighting to hold down.

You had always been able to somewhat keep him in control. Your voice had always managed to pull him back whenever he had wandered just that bit too far over the edge of the cliff of sanity. Your words however, could no longer rescue him. In the end, your desire had become nothing but a burden to you. It left you to deal with the aftermath of the boy’s rampage and pick up the broken pieces of the one you loved.

His rage had caused his downfall, while desire had made you partake in a dangerous game. A game you lost.

In the end, you had failed. 

Failed to protect him.

Failed to save him.

And failed to stop your heart from shattering on the chess board alongside his.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boy.  
> I wrote a draft for this last year and didn't redo it until recently. At the time, I really wanted to experiment with second person pov and this was the results of my experimentation (well the second draft anyway). It isn't properly edited but I honestly can't be bothered to read over it again.   
> The story itself focuses on the events of episode 131 and acts as a sort of reflection on the events of the episode. It was also kind of way of venting about stuff so it's fuelled by emotions rather than a carefully planned out story whoops.  
> Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed this mess I label as a fic.


End file.
